Camping with Super-SEAL
by Marcielle's Musings
Summary: Inspired by youreatopper's post on tumblr: 3x10 man.. I would have loved a non-crime version of the camping. Ahhh, what a great episode that would be and is it just me or does Danny, in the beginning, act like a wife who's realized that taking their husband out camping with a bunch of girls is a bad idea? sobbing cause Steve and Danny probably would have shared a tent...


Summary: Inspired by youreatopper's post on tumblr: 3x10 man.. I would have loved a non-crime version of the camping. Ahhh, what a great episode that would be and is it just me or does Danny, in the beginning, act like a wife who's realized that taking their husband out camping with a bunch of girls is a bad idea? #sobbing cause Steve and Danny probably would have shared a tent if the dude didn't show up #or they could have already since we don't know how long they were out there before

Work Text:

_Deep in the Ka'a'awa Valley on the Island of O'ahu a group of fearless Aloha Girls learn from Hawai'i's most dangerous weapon..._

The Super-SEAL!

Why on earth had Danny thought that this would be a good idea? I mean, honestly? _What on earth had he been thinking_?

He had known, KNOWN, that asking Steve if he wanted to join in on his camping trip with Grace and her Aloha Girls troop was a bad idea. But he had done it anyway.

Steve had been sitting with him in the Camaro, staking out some guy's house when Gracie had called to confirm that he would be coming with her troop that weekend. Obviously, one the call had ended Steve had enquired in a typical Steve-like manner what the phone call was all about. I mean honestly, sometimes Danny though that the entire idea of privacy was lost on Steve.

"You're going camping?" Steve had asked with a rather insulting incredulous look on his face as if he couldn't believe that he was going camping with his daughter.

He had said as much and then Steven had the audacity to say that he didn't even know a thing about camping or surviving in the wilderness and wouldn't he rather Steve come along so that Danny didn't poison himself or something completely ridiculous like that.

Danny had understandably been offended. There may have been some exuberant gesturing and a little bit of flailing but Steven had just sat there grinning like the smug little shit that he was.

And then there had been the puppy-dog eyes.

It should be illegal for a man of his age to still be proficient at _the puppy-dog eyes_.

He had caved. Steve, had smiled that stupidly goofy grin that he only did when everything in his life was content and perfect and _why on earth_ was he smiling like that at the thought of coming camping of all things with Danny and his daughter?

Gracie had been ecstatic when he had called her once they had gotten back to the office. Steven had interrupted that phone call too, smiling that stupid goofy grin and telling his little monkey that he was looking forward to coming camping with her and that he was sure that together they would be able to teach Danno something about camping.

Gracie had giggled, and then there was Rachel's voice in the background telling Gracie that it was time to hang up now.

"I love you Danno, I love you Uncle Steve! I'll see you next weekend, ok? Mommy says I gotta hang up now. Bye!" Gracie had said sweetly over the phone before hanging up.

So here they were... In the middle of the jungle with a troop of Aloha Girls and Steven was telling them stories about how he once saw a boar kill a tiger in India. And oh my god, Rachel was going to kill him. There was no way these stories were appropriate for little girls. And Rachel would use that and he would never get to see Gracie again because 'he was a bad influence on the psyche of his little girl' or some such drivel that Rachel's blood-thirsty lawyers came up with.

And yep, he needed to stop this demonstration like five minutes ago when Steve started talking about kill zones.

"Seriously? Kill zone?" Madeline, the troop leader asked from beside him.

"I'm very sorry."

Madeline ignored his apology. He wasn't surprised, to be honest. "I thought you brought him here to teach them _survival skills_. You brought Colonel Kurtz."

And yeah, this had been a horrible idea. Danny was about five seconds from burying his head in his hands just so he could pretend this wasn't happening. "Ok, I made a terrible mistake. I can see that now. I apologise, okay?"

Danny glanced over at the troop leader apologetically but really, what did she expect him to do? And, oh god, how was this his life? Steven had just pulled out his knife.

"Ok, ok, I've had it. I'm going to go check on our supplies. Make sure he doesn't kill anybody."

Yep, he wanted to bury his head under twelve feet of sand, "Oh, um, I'm pretty sure he won't kill anyone," Danny mumbled back but she was already gone, leaving him with a Super-SEAL who probably didn't even know what the words 'age appropriate' and a group of fascinated Aloha Girls who were learning how to kill a wild boar.

There would definitely be complaints coming his way from concerned parents, he could just feel it.

"Where's she going? We good?"

Danny looked up. Steve had his mildly concerned face on and Danny was struck by the realisation that _Steve didn't think he was doing anything wrong_. He needed to fix this and fast before Steve caused even more psychological damage to a group of ten year old girls.

"Yeah, we're good. Let's ah, let's take this opportunity to talk about something else? Something useful like how to find fresh water or, uh, I don't know, how to build a pillow out of flowers? Something like that, something appropriate for the age group?"

Danny glanced hopefully at Steve, playing that he would listen to reason. But, nope, oh crap, he had his confused constipated face on and that never meant anything good.

"Yeah, we could definitely do that..."

Crap, he sensed a 'but' in there. Time to act fast, "Okay,"

"_Or _"

Shit, he'd been right. And nope, no, nope, Steven had not just thrown a knife anywhere near a group of young innocent little girls. There is no way he would have done that because _that_ would have been an extremely dangerous activity and who was he kidding, "Or that."

And great the girls liked it and were only encouraging this overgrown toddler who thought that grenades were just children's toys. And yeah, _What on earth had he been thinking_?

~(O.o)~

It hadn't taken that long, really, to convince Madeline not to kill Steve and after convincing his maniac partner that it was late and really, they would have much better light tomorrow to teach the girls how to throw knives like a small army of miniature ninjas... they finally get the girls into their tents, to sleep.

Steven is already in the tent that they are sharing and Madeline gives Danny a rather baleful look before shaking her head and climbing into her own tent. He doesn't think that he and Steve will be invited on another Aloha Girls trip, ever again.

Danny climbs into his tent. Steven is already curled up inside his sleeping bag and Danny quickly moves to do the same. "Did it occur to you that normal ten year old girls don't know how to throw knives like ninjas or how to take down a wild boar with their bare hands?"

Steve rolls over, "It's important that they know how to protect themselves, Danny."

"No, it is very - no extremely - unlikely that these girls will have to face down a wild boar with their bare hands."

Steve glances over at Danny "I just want them to be safe and know how to protect themselves should they ever be in danger… It's just… this is something I can do. We can't be there to protect them _all of the time_ but showing them how to protect themselves… that... That could keep them safe and alive until we _can_ get there to save them."

"This isn't just about the Aloha Girls troop is it?" Danny whispers back into the darkness of the tent. H can just see Steve's outline.

"No, not really but Gracie… I just want her to be safe because I know you worry and that makes me worry and…"

Danny tries to see the expression on Steve's face but there isn't enough light in the tent. "Come here you big goof," Danny whispers fondly as he tugs on Steve's arm.

Steve shuffles his sleeping bag closer to Danny's, "Why do you always call me a goof? I'm not. I just-"

"I know and I'll always do everything I can to protect Grace because she's my world, ok? And you will too. But you're right… sometimes that's just not enough… So, okay, you can teach her self defence _but if I see her handling a grenade or anything like that_ you will never see her again - hear me?"

Steve grinned. Danny could see the flash of white as what little light in the tent reflected off Steve's teeth. "I hear you, Danno."

"Ok, alright then, sleep time you big goof."

The corner of Steve's lips shifted up in a small smile bit his eyes closed and yeah, maybe it was time for Danny to take his own advice.

Series this work belongs to:

« Part 3 of the Our Little Ohana of Three series


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